I was in Santa Fe this past week at my 3rd and final JourneyDance facilitator training. JourneyDance is a joyful and transformative process where your “stuff” comes up to the surface and you have a chance to dance your story so it can be transformed. Dancing for days definitely brought some old patterns up to my awareness.
One of those is the sense I have of being pulled in opposite directions. One side pulls me to use my energy, my resources and intentions to shine brightly in the world so I can serve and inspire those around me. The other is a force that wants to keep me down, it’s more cynical and doesn’t want me to stand out or shine bright. It will do anything including massive procrastination and seeking out various chocolate sources to avoid any chance of being criticized for how I am putting myself out in the world.
One thing I have clearly learned is that I can not ignore or cut out a whole side of me. So instead of trying to force myself to put myself out there, I decided to just dance with the fact that these two sides exist, neither one inherently better than the other. A funny thing happened as I allowed them both dance with me there all week, I came out of the training feeling more excited about about showing up in my life with a deeper willingness to be seen. At the same time I know there will always be a very strong part of me that wants to pull the cover over my eyes, I can relax into that too.
My hope is that whatever pattern might have you feeling stuck, that perhaps dancing with it and relaxing into the struggle itself, will allow you to shine too!
What’s your experience with allowing yourself to shine and putting yourself “out there” been like? I would love to see your thoughts below.
For a fun way to explore your stories, your dark and your shine, come Journey Dance this Friday, Oct 16th!